Thoughts on Alex and adoption

Adopting a child and adopting a dog should not use the same verb.

Since we brought Beebe into our home, I have tried to avoid the word "adopt" when referring to Beebe. But the shelter sent us home with a pamphlet and a DVD about bringing an "Adopted puppy" into the house. Alex can't avoid seeing the phrase.

So, how does it affect him? It seems it has brought some negative feelings to the fore, and allowed him to articulate some things he needed to articulate.

While driving in the car last week, he asked me, out of the blue, "Why did my other family give me away?" Okay. Let's talk. First of all nobody EVER gave you away. Your other family was supposed to take care of you just until we came along, until a family that was going to keep you forever could take care of you. Next he asks... "But what about the mom who had me in her tummy..." No, Alex, she didn't give you away. The grownups had to put you with a different family because she was too young to take care of you properly.

I think that is what I said. That is what I've practiced and thought about saying ever since we took adoption classes nine or ten years ago. One thing the classes talked about was having a way to explain the adoption that doesn't make it sound like it was in any way shape or form the "fault" of the child. I don't want to tell Alex that his medical condition was a factor, because that makes it sound like it was something about him... It is all these nameless, faceless, "grownups" that made huge decisions about your life over which you have never had any say...

Bless him. I hope this is all part of him learning to be more open with his feelings. I hope it is the beginning of the conversation, not the end. I pray for the right words each time I have the chance to talk with him about his past. I don't like to belabor the issue. I try to let him bring up his concerns naturally. I may have to look for more openings to say little things that reassure him, and give him the opportunity to ask questions more often.

Reading with Grandma is the best

And she thinks she isn't doing enough around the house to help out!
(Grandma is 92. Alex is 11)

Summer Bounty

I tried an unusual yellow/red striped variety this year. They are good.

The newest member of the family

Announcing the addition of a delightful puppy to our family:

Beebe, aka Princess Beebe, 3 months, 20 lbs.

She is a true delight. She joined our tribe on August 1st. It is clear that she will be a very good companion for all of us. Dave is enjoying short runs with her, I'm enjoying walking with her, while Alex and Joseph have had a good time learning to avoid her playful doggie bites. I can't wait until I trust her enough to let her have the run of the whole house so she can cuddle with the boys by the TV or in the basement. So far, the training process is going well. She has even started bringing her leash to me when she needs to go out... She is learning to "come" "sit" "stay" and "fetch." Shelter says she will end up in the 50-80 lb range.

Visitors from afar!!!!

The sheep from Flutterby are coming to visit us in Dublin Ohio!!!! I am very, very excited to have travelers who have been all over the globe stop by to see us here at DD. They are coming on an iceberg!!! I'm not at all sure how that will work, but I assume they will float down the Ohio river and then up the Scioto. Charlie, Kate and I will have to trot down to the river to pick them up when they arrive. As you can see, Charlie and Kate are waiting by the phone for the call that their friends are here. They won't let me use my phone at all!

Click on the link to read all about these sweet sheep and their travels. They have most recently been in Dublin, Ireland. I love the Flutterby Patch blog. I've spent a lot of time looking at her crafts, Christmas decorations, photos, etc.

Letter to my representative...

Okay.... So I'm disturbed enough by the scenes on the news that I've been inspired to write my congressman. I think I may send the same thing to the two Ohio senators.

I support the health care reforms proposed by Obama and others in the Democratic Party.

If you need to raise taxes to support this effort, I would understand. It is necessary for us to fix some of the big problems facing our nation before our economy will ever recover.

I am the mother of two special-needs children. One is adopted. He has learning disabilities as well as emotional and social problems. The other is autistic and was born with a cleft lip and palate.

We are lucky. I work for xxxxxx, so I have access to great health insurance, although I pay a lot for our family coverage.

Please do not listen to the folks who are scared that changing our health care system will ruin our country. We are all worried about the economy, frightened by the incendiary rhetoric spewing from entertainers that pose as news commentators, and concerned about an uncertain future.

Thank you for your service to the people of Ohio.

More Sheep! (at the State Fair)

The family had a great time Friday at the fair. We were on the fairgrounds for more than 7 hours. That is a great accomplishment for the boys--and for the parents. Joseph did great. He only ran away once or twice, and we were able to follow him easily. Of course he wouldn't leave the "lost kids" wrist band on his arm, so we had to be sure we didn't lose him!

We saw some real sheep. I should have taken Kate and Charlie to meet their bigger relatives. Also, I enjoyed the sheep with their cloaks on. I assume this is to keep a newly bathed sheep clean until it is showtime. I wonder if Kate and Charlie need capes?