video of Joseph

This is a video from Joseph's school program a few months ago. Stick with it until the end of the chorus. He finally signs "love" with the rest of the students. He did a really good job sitting and standing with the class through the whole program--it was about an hour. They are singing "Going to the Castle" in "The Princess and the Pea."

Photos of boys with Grandma

From our trip a few weeks ago. It is hard to get one with all three looking decent!

Alex's first fish!!!

We were visiting our friends in Gallipolis on the 4th and Alex caught his first fish! He had a great time, as did the rest of the family. The concert I was playing was sort of rained out, so boys didn't get to hear it. Long story, and not worth telling.

What if???

What would we think of Alex if we didn't have Joseph???

He has some interesting symptoms:

1. He self-soothes by rocking. Mostly in bed in the morning, whacking his head against the pillow over and over and over and over. Sometimes in the car when he is bored, just rocks back and forth. I've read that this is typical of adopted children, and I keep waiting for him to grow out of it, but he doesn't...

2. As a child he twirled pencils--fast--in front of his eyes. The teachers at school assumed he was copying his "autistic" brother, but Joseph never did that.

3. He loves toys that spin or that he can twirl. Still. A heavy toy at the end of a short string that can be spun in the air is his favorite.

4. His play skills are limited (way more advanced than Joseph's, mind you, but still really limited). He plays best with children several years younger. That is why latch-key after school is such a blessing. He happily plays with the first and second graders, and no one seems to mind. The teachers at latchkey understand that he is limited, and they don't push him to play with age peers.

5. He lives in a make-believe world created of television characters, not real friends. He has been at the same school for two years and has yet to be invited to a birthday party or for a playdate. He has alienated the neighborhood kids so they rarely invite him to play...

Would we think he was on the spectrum if we didn't have Joseph? Is he learning disabled, both academically and socially? Is this MR or PDD-NOS? One would never think, upon first glance, that there was a chance Alex was on the spectrum, but he has such a hard time socially... I need to look into a social skills group for him...

In the end it doesn't matter what you call it or what alphabet soup you throw at it, but it can help us as parents to know how to manage and set reasonable expectations.

Granted, in our modern world, where "autism" is the diagnosis du jour, I may be way off base, but I worry that we are not getting the services Alex needs because his symptoms are not as dramatic as Joseph's.

Travels with Mommy

I took a four-day, three-night, solo trip with the boys and had only a few bad moments. (Many thanks to the tolerant family members that hosted us on our journey!) The boys were well-behaved, for the most part, and I didn't lose my temper or my ability to cope. I am so dependent on Dave for "relief pitching" at the end of the day. By about 8 pm I am usually just done. Going it alone, away from home, was new for me. Advance planning helped; I had the things with me that I needed.

I'm getting lazy about watching them every second--so they get into mischief. (All part of the realization that we are running a marathon, not a sprint, and if we are going to be doing this for 26 miles/years, or there about, I'd better save some energy for the next mile.) At home it isn't such a big deal. We have locked away anything truly dangerous or valuable. Joseph went through all of Mother's mail, and took everything out of the envelope for her. She reports that she managed to match it all up again, except for one missing envelope... He also managed to find "solitaire" on computers where the owners didn't know it existed. I've not heard of any missing or damaged files and I trust my relatives would let me know, so that is all he did with the computers.

I'll post photo of boys and Grandma later. I managed to get the camera out once.

Cleaning helps

I've been fussing over my kitchen. The color scheme bothers me. I've considered painting the cabinets, the walls, getting new china, making curtains or roman shades, etc. etc. etc. I finally cleaned up all the stuff we had let gather on the counters, and it is amazing how much less offensive I find the place. I still think paint and roman shades will improve it. But keeping it straightened up is a good first step. All those who know me well will laugh, 'cause you know what a mess I can be.

Last day of Fifth Grade

Today is Joseph's last day of fifth grade, and last day of elementary school. The school has a nice tradition: Instead of a graduation ceremony, all the fifth graders walk past all the other classrooms at the end of the last day. The other students line the halls and "clap them out." The parents gather at the door of the school and continue clapping until all the 5th graders are outside. Next the children line up by the school bell, an old-fashioned wrought-iron bell near the entrance, and each student takes a turn ringing the bell.

Isn't that a great way to mark the milestone of finishing elementary school?

I took a photo with my phone, but the connection to the computer isn't working... Don't know why???